Oh hey that YouTube Post is Jessica Andrews WHO I am 

How cute is she :)  I've loved this song for years.  It's SO true!  

OH and in other news I made a list of movies to try to get from the library

they include. . . 

and . . . 

I'm not going to check them all out at the same time (that would be crazy) but maybe a few on Friday/Saturday/ go back on Sunday we will see!  Can you tell I'm in a chick flick mood.  I'm actually not very often, I guess I'm feeling alone :(  HA I'm also planning on listening to a book on tape!  Crazy I know.  Maybe I'll check out a few magazines also.  I feel like looking at pictures of fashion and maybe creating a little style (who am I kidding).  Oh and I actually have already seen bride wars and I hated it.  I just want to look at the dresses and Anne Hathaways hair ( I really like that hair :)

I LOVE These two things

“The truest thing I know about relationships is that sometimes, we don’t know anything at all. You can’t always get the one you want. And sometimes, the one you get, may not be the right one at all. But if you have hope, the universe has a funny way of showing you exactly what you need. The challenge is to let yourself be alone until the right one shows up. But you can’t hide either. Heartbreak sucks, but not having heartbreak sucks more. The answers aren’t in a lecture or a book, but maybe if you get yourself happy, you’ll find the right one. I believe this because against all odds, I’m still an optimist. That’s the thing about love, if it were that easy, everyone would have it.”
- Marin Frist

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMBrDYwe6jI&NR=1

Some Days it really hurts

Some days the I feel very alone.  I really want someone to "love" or maybe just like.  It's just been a long time.  I don't even want someone to feel they need to be always around or perfect or even amazing.  I just want someone to be around.  To hold me from time to time.  I would really like someone to hold me.  Maybe someday, PLEASE God someday.  I just want that warmth back that warmth that means someone likes/loves me.  Today it really hurts.  Like a deeper longing.  I guess that means someday I'm supposed to have someone, just not today.  Just not today. 

Quick Post

#1: Read Ithaka by CP Cavafy

#2 Read Psalm 42

Off to bed

Home Alone

SO I'm not home alone yet, but my parents and Nate are headed out on Thursday and I'm already making plans for some great free time.  I want to get a lot done (please) yet still have some fun and try some new things.  I really need to clean up my room (before school but even a before school before school clean).  I think it may help to have some movies to watch :) while cleaning or maybe a silly book to listen to on tape.  I'm going to have to hit up the lib.  I have to drive down to STL on Saturday and I want to take a care full of stuff (might as well).  SO I'd like to get my kitchen/little things organized.  I'm thinking I'll leave a lot of winter cloths at home and trade them out over time.  I also really want to cook a few foods I've been wanting to try.  Including a Green Monster and black bean burgers.  YEAH!  I'm going to hit up Strawberry Fields and get some Amazing Grass and Almond Breeze on Thursday.  The Black Bean burgers make enough for 4 and the fam will be gone Thursday through Monday.  I can have one Thursday, Friday, Saturday and maybe Sunday/Monday for lunch.  I'd also like to get some sweet potatoes and one night have "healthy burger" and "healthy fries"!  I may even try this banana soft serve everyone is blogging about :)  I'd also like to host a cook out Sunday.  Because I'm planning to live on healthy foods maybe I'll do burgers and Turkey burgers!  I think I'll try to make that my only meat for the weekend!  I'm pumped to see how my body reacts.  Yeah :)  I may have to make a meal plan before I grocery shop because I could see this getting overly exciting for me.  I need to remember I'll be living on my own soon (with 3 roommates)!

Monday: FINALLY I'm picking up my contacts and getting new glasses :)  Maybe I'll post a picture

Bad news: OVERLY Full 

I'm really into Harry Potter so my picture of the day is

Friends and Sun

I really enjoyed my day today.  Being with friends can take my mind off of food.  I was able o eat  normally and still have fun.  I swam, swam, and just chilled.  It was also nice cause I got the nerve up to be a little more "testy".  Usually I'm kind of bleah, but today I had a few testy moments.  I actually called my friend out on "loosing man points."  I sat by a fire (which I loved) sat under the stars.  Lit a fire (ha ha) when the boys failed.  It made me feel powerful :)  Now I'm tired.  I got a ten mile run in (and burned to a crisp YIKES) but it wasn't very satisfying.  I need to feel stronger longer.  

It really is nice to have friends.  To Courtney, to amber, to keith scott and ian.  May God bless and keep them.  Till Sunday 

Goodnight

Cute Hadley

I think Hadley from Southern Bells of Louisville is adorable.  She is after all the "perfect" one in so many ways.  I mean she is thin, beautiful, and smart.  She has a PhD amazing hair and seems to have perfect flawless style.  I actually really want to be like her.  Watching her though is great because guess what she has no job and no boyfriend.  It makes me glad that even when you are "perfect" in my book at least, you can not be perfect.  I'm so glad to be okay with me for now.  Yes I'm working on myself.  I'm working on my weight, growing out my hair, and trying to create some style.  Although I'm not doing very well.  I have about 20 lbs to loose before Christmas, I am still working on my Grad school plans, and I have NO style yet.  I guess the first place I'm starting is to loose weight.  I've set some goals, and while they are ambitious I think I can do it.  I'm thinking Jennifer Garner bangs with long (longer than shoulders hair).  Style you ask?  I'm at a loss.  BUT I have a few purchases I want to make before Christmas.  For example I'd really like to a nice Christmas dress (something a little different than I would ever buy).  I also (after weight loss) would like to buy a pair of skinny jeans, some crisp shirts (dress shirts I think I'll get them at Karen's Closet).  I'd really like a pair of boots.  For casual life I'm thinking yoga paints and v-necks.  I'm also on the look out for a few pairs of shoes (those heels) and a bag or two.  A longer pea coat a scarf or two and a knit hat of some sort to top it off.  What do you think.  COULD I Ellie Lawrence be 125lbs, great hair, great skin, and have style.  I think so and guess what, Hadley, I'm coming.